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Diary
By dev trash (Mon Mar 31, 2008 at 11:03:44 PM EST) (all tags)
Ramblings.


Smart Balance Buttery Spread NOW WITH Flax Oil, sucks.  Sure the taste is okay, and it's got the 4:1 ration of 3 to 6 or 6 to 3.  But it really does suck to spread. It has a warning that freezing will cause issues.  Well my refrigerator is not a freezer and yet I have the issues of spreading.  The old formula was fine.

I've eaten all of my beans that I made in the slow cooker last week.  I fried, er refried some for breakfast on Saturday.  Truly, beans are filling and for breakfast they can't be beat  I was not hungry again until a little after one.  I ate the beans at 8ish.  At one I had pasta, cream of mushroom and tuna.  That was filling as well and I was not hungry again until 8ish.

Today I asked the client two questions.  The answers spoiled the rest of my day.  Basically they want functionality A, which depends on adding some things to the database.  The code to check for this is simple enough, but I want to be sure, ya know.  But no, they refuse to add the data to the TEST server import because god forbid they'd have to do it again at launch.  So I wrote my code and put a comment like this:  This works, I am the GOD of PHP, at least others think as much.  If shit breaks, it can not be this piece of code that did it.

Ick.  Even joking about being the god of PHP makes me ill. 

I cleaned the apartment this past weekend and wow.  I also moved the stereo and TV into the bedroom.  Moving the books that were piled all over lead to me discovering that, yes I do have my K&R and my Assembler books here.  The Python book may inspire me to do some of that as well.  I have this TODO list thing I want to code up.  I was going to do it this past weekend, but I cleaned.  I cleaned and moved stuff for 6 hours on Saturday and surprisingly I was up at 7:30 on Sunday and cleaned some more.  The carpet powder I used Saturday is still strongly scented in this room.  Must use again.

I was in bed last night at right around 10.  Woke up at 6:47 and wondered why the alarm had not gone off.  Resquinted at the clock and realized it was 5:47.  Sadly I was fully prepared to get up and start my day at 5:47.  So tonight a little later I shall commence sleeping.  Getting up early on Sunday was a good thing.

THAT GAL.  I think we have a failure to communicate going on here.  Last I spoke with her she was 'pondering' whether or not going out with me again, to dinner and a movie would be going down the 'date line'.  In my mind yes, it would be.  What we shared at the winery was a date.  Wine, conversation, all at the same table and for almost two hours, was a date.  Sure it was on a Sunday afternoon, impromptu, but a date nonetheless.  Afterwards I told her I enjoyed the afternoon, and wanted to do it again.  My comminques are not ambiguous.  So I work from that.  I'm interested.  She spent 2 hours talking about whatever in a social setting.  She's interested. Sure it may all end in tears ( Although I've not cried over a relationship since the 1997 breakup of $model_gf ) but can we at least move forward a little bit. 

So I was able to chat with her this weekend, and she was confused when I brought up the whole 'pondering' thing.  She was all 'you're too serious with all of this'.  Maybe I am.  Maybe I'm anxious.  Maybe I'm being selfish.  Perhaps I'm subconsciencely pasing on other opportunities on thin hopes that this one is real.  I don't know.  I'm never sure on how I feel.

As what is usually typical, I'll move on and she'll be interested again.  Or maybe she will never be interested.  I'm really bad at knowing when someone is into me.  I really wish more people were more direct.  I hate subtly.

Sometimes I wish I could just talk to someone, for hours and hours and hours about everything.  Just lay it all out on the line and not be judged.  Just have someone listen, or read or whatever.  To be honest. 

 I'm a listener too.  I can reciprocate.  Yin and Yang.  Dark and Light. Buttered Bread on the back of a cat.

Anyway it is nearing 23:00

< Are these things obvious to you? | Dirty Fucking Hippies >
The Better Beatles | 22 comments (22 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Hey bulldog by johnny (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Mar 31, 2008 at 11:08:35 PM EST
If you're lonely you can talk to me.
Buy my books, dammit!


well by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Mar 31, 2008 at 11:19:47 PM EST
you know where to find me...
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake


cheeeeese I like cheeeeeese by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 09:57:21 PM EST
yes.  I do.  Tonight I am okay.

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FYI by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:04:57 PM EST
i often appear "away" but am, in fact, sitting at my desk.
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if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
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I have the opposite dilemma by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:48:37 PM EST
I log in, set no away message and then go watch TV.

But the TV is in with the PC now.  So yeah

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Send me THAT GAL'S phone number. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 04:52:39 AM EST
I will sort that chaff out in about 137 seconds and YOU WILL THANK ME FOR IT.

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.


you need to listen to what she's saying by webwench (4.00 / 2) #4 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:15:45 AM EST
she doesn't want to date you :(

So, on to the next one. Seriously.

Getting more attention than you since 1998. Ya ya!


Women. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:20:18 AM EST
That's not at all what she said. Why is it so difficult to just come out and say, "I don't like you." Believe it or not, we're big boys, and we can handle that a lot better than the stupid, "I don't want to hurt his feelings" bullshit answers that make us go insane trying to sort them out.

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"I don't like you" by webwench (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 11:04:44 AM EST
is a rude and confrontational thing to say, and most women will not say it.

If they're expressing reluctance to calling something a 'date', or doing something that could be considered 'a date', this is because they don't want to date. No amount of refusal to hear what's being said will change that. I'm sorry... we've all been there, it happens, and when it does, it's best to shrug and move on.

Getting more attention than you since 1998. Ya ya!
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Confrontational is not always rude. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 11:23:12 AM EST
Sometimes it's far more polite than stringing someone along for months because you're worried they'll take it badly.

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Let's cut to the heart of it. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 11:30:46 AM EST
Not saying she doesn't want to meet up with him again, flat out, yet saying she doesn't want to call it a date says one thing pretty clearly that's really difficult to see when you're a single guy. As a married guy, I can see it clearly even though he can't. What it says is, "you're not bad, so I want to keep you on the bench just in case. But I'm gonna go do some shopping around to see if I can't do better before I tell you I'm willing to date you."

Now, if she just flat out refused to meet up with him again? That's clear. If she said she'd like a date? That's clear. Continuing to talk and meet up with him while telling him she doesn't want to call it a date? As a single guy, that's clear as a glass of mud. Analyzing it from afar makes it clear, but being there in the moment makes it a confusing mess.

I'd tell him to get out now and run like the wind, but it's not always that easy when you're the one being strung along.

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rude is by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 09:55:17 PM EST
wasting 2 hours of my time, and 3 gallons of my precious gasoline to drive up the mountain, drink and buy wine, and get my hopes up.

I've been told plenty of times that I was not liked.  Sure it made me mad sometimes, but I knew what the deal was. 

Who knows, maybe she has no clue what she's doing.  At least she can provide me with names and number of her single friends she thinks I'd be great with. At least that's being somewhat of a friend.  What I have now is, I have no clue. 

But you're correct.  A shrug, and a move on is what I need.

That and some rum.

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I keep saying I knwo as much. by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 09:48:35 PM EST
The problem is, the next one is well undefined right now, and it could be years, knowing the rate at which I meet people, until I can move on to the next one.  Sure I 98% of the time I don't focus on that, and tell myself that things are okay.  Then last night I let the negative seep in.

I do have to see her at least once more.  I have all these damn Job Search Career Search books she lent me.  But oh well.

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Nothing worse than the by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:17:49 AM EST
"you're taking this too seriously" bullshit. Tell her to say what she fucking means or fuck off. Either she likes you or she doesn't, and life's too short to sit there trying to sort out subtle hints and bullshit responses meant to cause confusion in you. It's not hunter-prey in either direction, and she can either deal with being straight up, or go the hell away so you can go find someone who isn't a "you need to read my mind" bitch.

Sorry if this is harsh, but this subtle figure me out without me telling you anything I'm thinking or feeling bullshit was one of my biggest pet peeves back when I was in the dating scene. Which may explain why I didn't do much dating.



see. by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 09:45:23 PM EST
I've always tried to learn from my mistakes.  So, yeah apparently being too aloof with women was wrong, so I tighten it up a little and now I'm too serious.  Bah.

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Just so you know. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 11:29:35 PM EST
something I could NOT get when I was single, and makes perfect sense looking back on as an old married dude, when they say you're being too serious, what they mean is, "ew, dude, I'm not about to date you."

If they want to date you, you'll never be too serious.  Unfortunately, it's a series of strange interpretive weirdness you've got to navigate to figure it out as a single dude.

I'm lucky.  I married a woman that realizes us men are stupid, simple folk and that the words "yes" and "no" are really about the most difficult concepts we're able to wrap our heads around.

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Bro... by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 09:52:01 PM EST
She spent 2 hours talking about whatever in a social setting.  She's interested.

You're making a broad assumption there. I had a fuck-buddy a few years back who I used to spend the whole day with and she was decidedly not interested in dating, all she wanted was to going out and doing stuff then fuck afterwards.

Here's the number one sure fire way to tell if she's interested in a relationship - she wants to spend time with you. That means when you call her up and say "Hey - lets get together tomorrow" she says "I'm free after 5, what do you want to do" or "I'm busy tomorrow but I'm free Thursday afternoon" or whatever. Women aren't all that hard to figure out if you listen to what they're telling you.

Frankly I think you like the punishment. Otherwise why would you keep wasting your time and putting yourself through the emotional wringer with this one.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.


ahhhh by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:01:09 PM EST
your second paragraph?  That's what lead to us meeting up at the winery.

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Well by All Things Considered (4.00 / 1) #17 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:27:04 PM EST
Last I spoke with her she was 'pondering' whether or not going out with me again, to dinner and a movie would be going down the 'date line'.

If she was interested she wouldn't be pondering - she would be saying yes, I want to spend time with you.

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I suck at grammar (love the show btw) by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue Apr 01, 2008 at 10:51:22 PM EST
Should be more like.  "She was pondering whether what I had proposed was going down the dateline"

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What he said by houser2112 (2.00 / 0) #21 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 03:04:40 PM EST
Both of those statements sound the same to me.  Like I said in an earlier diary of yours, you were on the  Friends ladder and attempting a jump to the other ladder.  Her quibbling over what language to use to call going out says to me that you failed in your ladder jump.  Is the dating scene so bad in your neck of the woods that you're willing to put up with this bullshit?

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it is. by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Apr 03, 2008 at 06:14:09 PM EST
Or I think it is, as I don't go out much.  I did meet two people from the area a while ago.  Both didn't go passed the first date.

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